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The Obama campaign staff learned its lesson early in this contest - don't let those Hillary supporters get loose and start a ruckus. And WHATEVER you do, don't let them get their hands on a kazoo.
CBS has the story...
In an unusual move, Hillary Clinton's staff is creating a 40-member "whip team" at the Denver Democratic convention to ensure that her supporters don't engage in embarrassing anti-Obama demonstrations during the floor vote on her nomination, according to people familiar with the planning.
The team, which is being organized by longtime Clinton staffer Craig Smith, is working in conjunction with Obama's floor organizers to help foster the image of a unified front during a roll-call process Clinton herself has described as an emotional "catharsis" for her disappointed supporters.
"If people get down there on the floor and want to start blowing kazoos and making a scene we want to make sure we've got people who stand in front of them with Obama signs," said person involved in the planning.
Veteran Obama staffers were glad to elaborate off the record as to why a floor demonstration supporting Hillary is seen as such a threat. One visibly distraught campaign worker related his story...
I tell you, they're trained killers with those kazoos. I was in New Hampshire - my canvassing team got separated from the rest of our unit and were wandering around in this neighborhood, and we started hearing this low-pitched buzz. We thought it was crickets at first, but it got louder and louder, and then they appeared out of nowhere - HUNDREDS of them.
We went into election day thinking we were going to put her away for good, but all these working-class women who everybody had ignored and written off showed up, humming on their kazoos, and voted for Hillary. We got our ass kicked.
Like the rebel yell and the Highland charge, the infamous Hillary kazoo demonstration is a display proven to strike fear into the most salwart fighting unit. Grizzled veterans of jungle warfare have been known to cast aside their weapons, soil themselves, and beg for mercy at the first menacing buzz of the kazoo.
Another Obama worker was able to relate the following disjointed tale before being led away to the triage unit to recover from PTSD symptoms...
We just threw down our sign-up sheets and ran... there was nothing we could do. We had stopped for a traffic light, and they used grappling hooks to board our campaign bus... I still get nighmares where I see them coming over the railing with those damn kazoos in their teeth...Chicago! Chicago! Send backup, immediately! We're being overrun!!! Aaiieeee!!!! |
